Why don't I want sex?

Finally a Natural Solution

2006-10-13T13:29:00.000-07:00

Finally there is a natural solution to enhance feminine sexual health. Visit www.enjoyn.com for more information.

Dear Husband, Fiance, Boyfriend, etc.,

2005-08-10T16:14:00.000-07:00

At least part of the blame for our poor libido belongs to the men in our lives. After we complete all of the sundry tasks for which we are responsible through the day we are expected to perform one more chore before we can go to sleep. As we drag ourselves to bed we find "Smiling Bob" wide awake and anxious to play. We want to say (and sometimes do), "Drop dead. I'm going to sleep."

When a man first comes home from work he wants you to be his sister and listen to his stories about how unfair the world had been to him that day.
Then he wants you to be his mother and fix him dinner.
Then he wants you to be the mother-of-his-children and help get the kids ready for school the next day.
Then he wants you to be his gal pal and get him a beer or two while he watches TV.
Then he wants you to magically transform into a sultry nymphomaniac and satisfy his deepest desires for earthly delights.

Sex should never be another chore. Sometimes women have a hard time articulating this to their mates. With this in mind I here provide a form for you to print out, fill out, and present to your significant other:

Dear ...
[ ] husband,
[ ] fiance,
[ ] boyfriend,
[ ] other,

After I ...
[ ] work all day
[ ] drive the kids to athletic practice
[ ] come home and fix dinner for you and the kids
[ ] clean up after dinner
[ ] clean up around the house
[ ] do laundry
[ ] attend to the animals
[ ] pay bills
[ ] ...........................................
[ ] ...........................................
[ ] ...........................................

watching you ...
[ ] play with the kids
[ ] eat dinner
[ ] drink beer
[ ] watch TV
[ ] talk to your friends/family on the phone
[ ] ...........................................
[ ] ...........................................
[ ] ...........................................

does not make me especially horny.

Next time try ...
[ ] taking me out to dinner
[ ] taking me away somewhere for the weekend
[ ] talking to me and listening to what I have to say
[ ] giving me a massage (everywhere but there)
[ ] not stressing me out with money talk
[ ] not stressing me out with in-law talk
[ ] .........................................................
[ ] .........................................................
[ ] .........................................................
[ ] .........................................................

Love,
[ ] .........................................................

P.S. If I don't want to have sex with you every night it does not mean ...
[ ] I am having sex with someone else
[ ] I want to have sex with someone else
[ ] I don't love you anymore
[ ] or any other crazy, insecure, idea that you can think of.

For your mate to register complaints send him to www.sexdead.blogspot.com

2005-08-08T04:11:00.000-07:00

Beauty is strength.

Something is Terribly Wrong

2005-08-08T04:08:00.000-07:00

Every day I hear patients say, "I couldn't care less if I never had sex again." I hear it from women in their twenties as much as women in their forties. Something has gone very wrong with our sexuality. The purpose of this site is to investigate the possible reasons for this plague of lost libido and to determine if there is anything that really works to increase a woman's sex drive. This site will provide an open but serious forum for women to honestly discuss their experiences and thoughts on this topic. Life is too short to be "sex dead".

Be careful with tatoos!

2005-08-08T04:01:00.000-07:00

It is all the rage to get a tatoo, often on the small of the back or other intimate area. Every day women confess to me that they wished that they had never had the tatoo put there in the first place. What seems like a good idea to an eighteen year old may not be a good idea to a thirty year old. Don't do anything that might cause you to be embarrassed of your body later in life. This will undermine your libido.

Shame, shame, shame!

2005-08-08T03:39:00.000-07:00

The medical term for the female genitalia is 'pudendum'. It comes from the Latin word 'pudendere', which means "to have shame". This illustrates how deep-rooted society's prejudice against female sexuality is. While a boy is raised to be proud of his penis, a girl is left under the impression that she got "the short end of the stick" because she was born with a vagina. Although this attitude has improved tremendously in the last twenty years, most women will tell you that there is still a residual negativity toward female sexuality in most families.

If a woman harbors shame for being female her libido will suffer eventually. Eliminate any negativity associated with your womanhood. Search your hard drive for any cookies of self-disdain and delete them.

Sex and Sex and the City

2005-08-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

Excessive TV viewing saps sexual energy. Watching shows that concentrate on unsuccessful human relationships, like Sex and the City, saps emotional energy. Don't swap a real live healthy sex life for a virtual reality sex life. Turn off the TV and go for a walk with your lover. Play tennis with him. Even playing a board game with him is better than staring at the TV in a semi-trance being infected with negative and destructive thoughts.

Life is short. Live it to the fullest. Go to the city and have sex, but don't waste your precious time watching shows like Sex and the City.

2005-08-05T15:05:00.000-07:00

Beauty is strength

Stress and Sex

2005-08-05T14:44:00.000-07:00

We all know that men and women are very different in many ways. One remarkable difference is how stress affects the male and female libido. Men seem to want sex more when they are under stress. After a good argument with their mate they often want to top it off with sex. Women experience libido wipe-out with stress, and find it hard to believe that their mate wants to be intimate after a knock down drag out.

Dutch scientists have now discovered that the areas of the brain that control anxiety and alertness are shut down while a woman is having an orgasm. [Discover Magazine, September 2005] These same areas stay active if a woman fakes an orgasm. Why wouldn't this affect cause a woman to crave sex while under stress? Comments?

Ovulation and the Sex drive

2005-08-05T09:28:00.000-07:00

Many women notice that their sex drive is highest in mid-cycle, just when they are most likely to get pregnant. This makes physiological sense since if the reproductive system was designed to make children then the instinct to have sex right around the time of ovulation would promote this result. Conversely, if a woman does not ovulate at all then her sex drive will be decreased. This could be why women who are taking the oral contraceptive pill notice a marked drop in their libido.

Although stopping the pill will probably increase a woman's sex drive, it may also result in pregnancy. Comments?

Self Image and the Sex Drive

2005-08-05T09:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you have to listen to what a man says to gain an insight into ourselves...

A male friend of mine once told me that at as a teenager he learned that "it is easier to talk a pretty girl out of her pants than an ugly one". He concluded that pretty girls were proud of their bodies and were eager to show them off while unattractive girls were ashamed of their bodies and were therefore unusually modest.

Ignore the anger producing aspect of his statement and you will find a great big nugget of truth. If a woman feels good about herself and how she looks, she will feel more sexual. If she feels fat, pale, and dumpy then she will want nothing less than to get naked with someone.

Like everything else, a positive attitude is essential for a healthy libido. If you think you are sexually attractive then you will be sexually attractive. If you are sexually attractive you will want and get more sex.

Children and Libido

2005-08-05T08:42:00.000-07:00

Besides the obvious affects of children on a woman's sex drive ( stress, exhaustion, and the occasional 'coitus-interuptus-kid-busting-in-on-us'), there is another subtle but powerful factor that may come into play.

A nurse recently explained to me that before she had children she was often the one to initiate a sexual encounter with her husband. She mused that he had a hard time keeping up with her. After the birth of their first child, however, she lost her sexual aggression. Her husband missed her revved up libido and complained. When she reflected on why she had changed she concluded that much of her sex drive was fueled by a desire to be intimate with someone she loved. She craved touching and caressing her husband as much as having an orgasm.

Before having children, her husband was the only one who was available to receive her intimate attention. Once she had a baby this desire was satisfied by her caring for and attending to the needs of the newborn and she no longer craved being intimate with her husband.

Although a mother's relationship to her child is not sexual, it is very intimate and intense. In this case, motherhood satisfied one of the desires that used to drive the woman to want sex. Any thoughts?

2005-08-05T08:35:00.000-07:00

Beauty is strength